tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3710553959634186223.post7042500909243480549..comments2023-10-15T06:37:36.880-08:00Comments on Bent Alaska: A Stupid Drop-Down MenuE. Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14476036105493103595noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3710553959634186223.post-58003706758568848192009-09-12T19:20:47.302-08:002009-09-12T19:20:47.302-08:00The comments from both of you uplift me. Thank yo...The comments from both of you uplift me. Thank you for putting your experiences down on paper for all of us to share. <br />P.S. Are your HR folks oblivious or deliberate in this limited choice on the menu? If the drop-down menu only gave me two choices and I felt as you do in your situation, I would probably choose "married" and create a flurry among the bean counters. Will a kick in the pants wake them up even a little?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3710553959634186223.post-22251861992640239532009-09-11T01:00:37.536-08:002009-09-11T01:00:37.536-08:00Dear Katie and all of you in Alaska.
It's goo...Dear Katie and all of you in Alaska.<br /><br />It's good we care. It's good to let others know we care. Just as our work as LGBT folk was letting others know we existed in the past, now it's to let others know civil marriage matters to us.<br /><br />When Gene and I started our effort to bring this inequality to the courts back in the late 80s, there was no national support, no help to be found in Alaska anywere. It took us six years to find an attorney to represent us. It's quite a story.<br /><br />We now see this effort to be included as legal family all across the world. It is now a movement that opponents cannot stop. We matter. Our families matter.<br /><br />As I do genealogy work for a family reunion in Minnesota next year, I am struck by the assumptions of biology, of heterosexual union (Mormons are huge in this field, after all). We, as gay folk just aren't contemplated. Not at all. So as I speak to long separated family members rediscovered, I hold from telling them of my marriage to Gene. <br /><br />Why? Because I don't wish to risk losing a source for family research that each relation means. I know that I could be rejected. I know my spouse won't be seen as my spouse by too many.<br /><br />There is work to be done. All around the world, marriage bonds families and transforms the connection our partners have to us to become a legal and cultural fact in our family's lives.<br /><br />It is important. It is not only about who we love. It is also about who defines our family.<br /><br />There is so much to do, but Gene and I couldn't be more proud of all of us as we struggle to love openly, with our friends and the families we demand to be part of--whether we like them or not! Families are, after all, a piece of work.<br /><br />Blessings on all our houses.<br /><br />Jay AND Gene Dugan-Brause, London, UKJacob Dugan-Brausehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06287631724339961459noreply@blogger.com