An Anchor in Alaska: Being an Ally

Tony's Ally Story

When I first became active in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community, I went to great lengths to discreetly indicate my sexual orientation to those I worked with. I didn't join the Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) during my first year in my 7-12 high school because I feared others would think I was gay. Four years later, I look back at my flawed seventh-grade reasoning and realize my work will someday create a world where such a thought would never have occurred to me—a world that sees people for who they are, not who they love.

I am fortunate to live in a community where LGBT people are commonly accepted. My experience in Anchorage, Alaska is not a place where funerals are protested or marchers are harassed during Pride Parades. Instead, it is a place where the Gay and Lesbian Community Center is open daily thanks to donors and volunteers. I attend a school where the GSA meets sporadically—not because the students don't care, but because there is no blatant anti-LGBT harassment. While a younger student will occasionally use "that's so gay" in a negative manner, I have never heard of someone being verbally or physically harassed for any reason, including sexual orientation or gender identity. It's certainly not perfect, but I realize that being an ally is much easier for me than it is for others.

Still, like other allied students, I have had some difficult experiences. I have had "faggot" yelled at me from the open window of a passing school bus. Friends become exasperated with me for being offended at the saying "that's so gay." Other GSA members have asked, "How can you be so active with the GSA and still be straight?" But I know that these few things pale in comparison to the harassment and prejudice some of my friends face in their schools and communities.

Anti-LGBT harassment hurts everyone, not just the offender and the harassed. Environments of teasing, bullying, and harassment discourage learning and cause LGBT students and allies to feel alienated in places where they should be safe. Allowing it to continue fosters hate and intolerance, and has severe effects on those it is directed to and any witnesses as well. It also discourages students from attending class and participating.

I know that even as an ally, every time I hear hurtful and harassing words I feel as if I have been personally attacked. I feel hurt for my LGBT friends and angry that the offender would do/say something like that. If it's on TV or in a non-personal setting, I feel angry that the broadcaster would allow such things, and that whoever watching (because it isn't me) will watch that. In certain situations, even I sometimes feel helpless to stop it. It often ruins my day.

At times, it can seem like an exercise in futility. Some days it seems as if I am the only straight male who fights for the rights LGBT people. But every time I meet a member of the LGBT community, I am reminded of why I am an ally—because nobody deserves to be oppressed. Anti-LGBT harassment in any environment creates an unsafe place for a person to live, work or learn. Until all schools are safe spaces for all students, regardless of identity, I will remain an ally to my friends and all other members of the LGBT community.

Tony Glavinic
Regional Student Organizer
2006-2007 National Student Leadership Team

Do you have an ally story? Send a message to GLSEN's Student Organizing Department at info@dayofsilence.org.