A Choice, Not An Echo
Dan Savage: "It Gets Better"
Billy Lucas was just 15 when he hanged himself in a barn on his grandmother's property. He reportedly endured intense bullying at the hands of his classmates—classmates who called him a fag and told him to kill himself. His mother found his body.Nine out of 10 gay teenagers experience bullying and harassment at school, and gay teens are four times likelier to attempt suicide. Many LGBT kids who do kill themselves live in rural areas, exurbs, and suburban areas, places with no gay organizations or services for queer kids."My heart breaks for the pain and torment you went through, Billy Lucas," a reader wrote after I posted about Billy Lucas to my blog. "I wish I could have told you that things get better."I had the same reaction: I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes. I wish I could have told Billy that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that, however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better.But gay adults aren't allowed to talk to these kids. Schools and churches don't bring us in to talk to teenagers who are being bullied. Many of these kids have homophobic parents who believe that they can prevent their gay children from growing up to be gay—or from ever coming out—by depriving them of information, resources, and positive role models.Why are we waiting for permission to talk to these kids? We have the ability to talk directly to them right now. We don't have to wait for permission to let them know that it gets better. We can reach these kids.So here's what you can do: Make a video. Tell them it gets better.I've launched a channel on YouTube—www .youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject—to host these videos. My normally camera-shy husband and I already posted one. We both went to Christian schools and we were both bullied—he had it a lot worse than I did—and we are living proof that it gets better. We don't dwell too much on the past. Instead, we talk mostly about all the meaningful things in our lives now—our families, our friends (gay and straight), the places we've gone and things we've experienced—that we would've missed out on if we'd killed ourselves then.[snip]We can't help Billy, but there are lots of other Billys out there—other despairing LGBT kids who are being bullied and harassed, kids who don't think they have a future—and we can help them.They need to know that it gets better. Submit a video. Give them hope.
It would be great to get some more videos that include more than one person. Gay couples, groups of friends, straight people and their gay friends. And we have lots of videos from folks who are focusing on what they suffered—which absolutely should be touched on. But it would be great to see some more videos that give young gay kids a picture of the lives they could make for themselves if they just hang in there... So if you decide to make a video, don't just share your pain. Share your joy too.
Anti-Gay Michele Bachmann endorses Joe Miller *more video*
What will you lose if the anti-gays win?
Anti-gay extremists are growing louder. But they don't just want to stop progress, they want to roll it back.If they win, they'll kick brave troops out of the military, stop partner visitation rights in hospitals and prevent gays and lesbians from adopting kids who need loving homes.They'll make sure its legal to fire us for being gay or transgender.Some have even said it's time to criminalize homosexuality itself.If they win, what will you lose?
Had enough? Take action!Tell us in a 15-second video what YOU would lose if the extremists win. Upload your video to this site and tell your friends and family to watch it and watch other videos from LGBT Americans and their allies.ORSign the pledge and tell your friends and family what you'd lose if anti-gay extremists win this November. Pledge to support candidates this November who speak openly and honestly about the LGBT community. To counter the lies and hate spread by anti-gay extremists and the campaigns they're dumping millions of dollars into across the country.Make sure the people who love you know what will happen if we don't keep fighting.Make sure they know what you'll lose.
Sara's News Roundup 9/26/10
Court rules Air Force must reinstated lesbian major
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McAdams on DADT *update*
"At a time when the U.S. has 50,000 troops on the ground and is still fighting a war in Afghanistan, it's irresponsible to exclude any skilled, combat-ready troops from service. Individuals who are willing to sacrifice their lives for their country don't deserve to be discriminated against." - SCOTT McADAMS
What's next for DADT?
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- another Senate attempt during the "lame duck" session after the mid-term election,
- an executive order from the president ending the policy (or at least stopping the discharges until the Pentagon removes the policy), and/or
- The Department of Justice can choose not to appeal the recent court decision that DADT is unconstitutional.
President Obama, the House and a majority of senators clearly support an end to "don't ask, don't tell," but that, of course, is insufficient in the upside-down world of today's Senate, where 40 members can block anything.[snip]If the military's unjust policy is not repealed in the lame-duck session, there is another way out. The Obama administration can choose not to appeal Judge Phillips's ruling that the policy is unconstitutional, and simply stop ejecting soldiers.
We consider this matter a top priority to our service members, the American people and the security of the United States. We acknowledge and appreciate your support and hope that together we can end this dishonorable policy once and for all. We hope that you, as the Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Services, will take this opportunity to restore integrity to our military and decline to appeal Judge Phillips' ruling.
If DOJ pursues an appeal, Obama's administration will be defending the constitutionality of DADT and DOMA in court -- right smack in the middle of his reelection campaign.
Senate fails to end filibuster on Don't Ask Don't Tell, Lisa too busy to vote UPDATE
Mike Brumas, Murkowski's Senate spokesman, confirmed that Murkowski would have voted "nay" on the cloture motion... if she had been in D.C.
Will Lisa vote for the Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal?
Our DC staffer is on the Hill right now, and according to Senator Murkowski's staff, the Senator is more than willing to listen to the calls. Her official phone number is (202) 224-6665, though the Senate can be reached via (202) 224-3121. LGBT Alaskans should call her and ask for her to vote for the repeal and to start and end debate over this.
Sara's News Roundup 9/19/10
Lady GaGa video to Senate: repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
Senate "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" vote on Tuesday - Call Today
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The Community Survey: Who We Are
— by Mel Green, Crossposted from alaskacommunity.org.
In announcing the Alaska LGBT Community Survey — I call it AKQ for short — I frequently used the word "we." "We've decided…," "we'll use the survey…," "we aim…."
So just who are "we" — besides, of course, me?
In 1985-1986, "we" were the volunteers of Identity, Inc. which put together the survey instrument for One in Ten, administered it to LGB respondents throughout the state, tallied up the results, & wrote the report One in Ten: A Profile of Alaska's Lesbian & Gay Community (1986).
In 1987-1989, "we" were a lot of volunteers & a few people who got some pay (I think), who contacted & interviewed respondents who had experienced violence, harassment, discrimination because they were, or were perceived to be, lesbian or gay (yes, some of our respondents were heterosexual people who were misperceived at being homosexual), who surveyed Anchorage area landlords & employers, & who compiled the information gathered from those efforts & wrote them up in Identity Reports: Sexual Orientation Bias in Alaska (1989).
Right here & now, on September 13, 2010, "we" are three people who met last Thursday & decided to do this. Let me introduce us:
- Melissa S. "Mel" Green. I was part of the "we" in both 1985-86 effort that resulted in One in Ten, of which I was principal writer; and in the 1987-1989 effort which resulted in Identity Reports, of which I was coauthor (along with Jay Brause). I'm also have my personal blog, Henkimaa.com, from whence I did a lot of blogging last year about the Anchorage equal rights ordinance AO-64, which passed the Anchorage Assembly only to be vetoed by Mayor Dan Sullivan. I'm also a 20-year staff member at the UAA Justice Center, where I've grown even more familiar with social science research, and developed relationships with some of the research faculty who we hope to have help from throughout our work on the current survey.
- Shelby Carpenter is the LGBT Public Policy Director for the American Civil Liberties Union of Alaska… and I'll let her tell you more about herself as she has time. [Ed: Read Shelby's introduction.]
- Barbara Soule is a longtime Alaska resident and LGBT community activist who is jumpstarting our outreach to the trans community. I'll let you her tell you more about herself as she has time, too.
By now, you might be asking, three people?!!! Just three people are going to conduct a high quality research project covering the LGBT population of the entire state of Alaska?!!!
Well, no. Because our very first step is to bring in more people. So right now the three of us are doing a lot of work behind-the-scenes to contact people to form our Community Survey Task Force. The Task Force's job will be defined more completely as its formed; but as I see it, it's functions will chiefly be to:
- Revise and update the One in Ten survey questionnaire to reflect changes in society that have taken place since 1985, the need for trans-inclusiveness, and new questions/issues that we'd like to address in the survey. (And perhaps additional smaller surveys.)
- Continue to conduct outreach to the LGBT and allied community in all areas of the state, both for complete coverage of our community in all its diversity, and in particular to solicit respondents who are willing to be interviewed about instances of discrimination, harassment, violence, or other forms of bias that they have experienced because they are, or were perceived to be, trans, bisexual, gay, or lesbian.
- Coordinate distribution and administration of the survey, data entry, and analysis and writing of the report(s) of our findings.
We hope to have our first meeting of the Community Survey Task Force in late September/early October. By the necessities of geography and the inability of most people to be more than one place at one time, it may be that our first meeting can consist of only those people who can easily travel to Southcentral Alaska for an Anchorage-based meeting. But we will be working on how to make sure we can fully involve both organizations and individuals in all parts of the state.
Another task that we're working on already is beginning our outreach to the trans community. We are committed to making AKQ — again, that's what I've taken to calling the Alaska LGBT Community Survey for short — fully trans-inclusive, not only in the kinds of questions that appear in the survey — but also in participating on the Task Force in questionnaire design, administration, and analysis. All three of us are involved in some aspect of this, with Barbara and I contacting people we know in the Alaska trans community & Shelby working with national-level trans organizations and activists who have conducted research within the trans community throughout the country.
Barbara is also coordinating focus groups for members of the trans community to get input on questionnaire design. We hope to hold the first of these at the Alaska Pride Conference 2010 sponsored by Identity, Inc. to be held October 9 in Anchorage and a second one probably about a week later, also in Anchorage, for those who cannot attend the Pride Conference. We'll also work on how we can involve transfolk in other areas of the state in our research effort.
As we continue to organize our effort, I hope soon to be able to introduce other people involved in this effort on this blog; better yet, to let them introduce themselves & add their voices to this blog, & to our overall effort to invigorate & strengthen our community statewide & advance our effort for full social and economic justice for LGBT in Alaska & nationally.
Stay tuned to our progress and news about how to get involved by subscribing to this blog, "liking" our Facebook page, and/or following our Twitter feed @alaskacommunity. You can also write to us at anchoragecommunity@gmail.com. You can also find all our contact info on our About page.
Former Elmendorf NCO escorts Lady GaGa to MTV awards to support DADT repeal
"We met her before the show last week and told her our stories, and that's when she said she wanted to do more," said David Hall, 36, a former member of the Air Force who was booted out in August 2002 after a female cadet told his commander that he was gay and in a relationship. When confronted, Hall said he told his commanding officer he had no comment, but "he took her word for it over mine," and Hall, a five-year veteran, was discharged."We talked to [Gaga] for a bit and she said, 'It would be great if I could bring you to the VMAs,' " he said. A longtime Gaga fan, Hall was ecstatic about the idea, but said it seemed unlikely that they could pull it off on such short notice. But when you're Lady Gaga and you have 13 VMA nominations, it seems anything is possible."I just kept thinking, 'How can we get this together? Can we do it that fast?' " Hall said. "To my surprise, we were able to pull it off."Hall and three of his cohorts — Katie Miller, Stacy Vasquez and Mike Almy — ended up walking the white carpet with Gaga and chatting with MTV's Sway before they took their seats right behind Gaga in the Nokia Theatre in some of the most primo spots in the house.Hall has been working with the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN.org) since 2006, helping the advocacy organization push to have "Don't Ask" repealed. He said even with all the work he's been doing for the organization, having Gaga spread the word to her 6 million Twitter followers and millions of VMA viewers was a huge boost."I've done tons of media over the past four years ... but I knew she would reach out to her Little Monsters and tell them about the repeal of 'Don't Ask' on the white carpet and [it would have a huge impact]," he said. "You couldn't ask for a better person to do it. She's very genuine. It's not some ploy to get attention. She really wanted to know about the repeal and why we need to get rid of 'Don't Ask.' "... Gaga's decision to use the VMA platform to publicize the attempt to push the repeal of "Don't Ask" through — a commitment President Obama made during his campaign and which he has repeatedly said is his goal — came at just the right time, according to Hall."The Senate is just coming back and we're hoping that they will pass something this month," he said, noting that Democratic control of Congress could possibly be weakened if Republican candidates score key victories in the November elections, which could set the repeal process back once again. "We were telling her that it is very important to speak out on this now," Hall said of SLDN's message to Gaga, who paid for the service members to fly out to Los Angeles for the VMAs.In addition to their swank seats and walk down the carpet, Hall said the organization members met with Gaga as she was prepping for the show earlier in the day Sunday to go over talking points. They also were invited to attend the post-VMA party put on by Gaga's Interscope Records label, where they chatted with Mother Monster and her actual mother, Cynthia Germanotta.Hall's highlight? "She gave us a shout-out during the acceptance for her first award," he said. "And the interview with Sway on the white carpet ... But every time Lady Gaga won, it was great. And when she won Video of the Year, I loved her meat outfit."